April 14, 2009

Constantly Concerned and Easter

Madeleine had a fever that started on Easter, and (I think) ended today. It wasn't high, and she was mostly herself, just a little crankier. Her line is gone, so we obviously weren't worried about a line infection like we have been in the past. Today at nap time she had a major temper tantrum about nothing at all. She was trying to carry a stack of books to me and they kept slipping out of her hands, and she just lost it. She continued to lose it for the next hour and a half until I was finally able to get her to go to sleep. As I attempted to soothe her I was reminded of the couple weeks before she was diagnosed, when she was so cranky, and we didn't know that anything was wrong. Whenever the tiniest things like these happen I can't help but think that it could be a sign of a bigger problem. Maybe the cancer is spreading, maybe it's putting out a ton of chemicals and that is causing the fever. I don't know if I will ever be able to stop thinking like this. I imagine with time that it will get better, but I'm not certain that it will ever go away.

We had a nice Easter at home. It started off rough with Ryan heading over to work (for the fourteenth day in a row) because his experiment may or may not have caused half a million dollars in damage by blowing up. Luckily, it was saved (the experiment AND my marriage!) and he made up for it with flowers and bon bons and making dinner. Meanwhile Mad and I went for a run at Mission Bay. It was a beautiful day but incredibly windy and it was difficult to push the stroller into the wind. After about three miles she had goosebumps and we gave up. When we got back home I looked up other places to go running in the area and I found a lake about five minutes from my house. Unbelieveably, we have lived in this area of San Diego twice for a total of about two and a half years and we've never seen this lake. Later in the day we went to check it out and it's gorgeous! It's about five miles around and there are geese and fish and good trails that will hopefully accomodate the jogging stroller. I'm looking forward to running it maybe later this week.

We did have a small Easter egg hunt at home:


Bree said...

Where are you living now? Aren and I just moved to 4S Ranch near Rancho Bernardo.

Kyle said...

Sounds like Ryan has this post-doc thing all wrong. You guys need to move to CO and get that boy a proper 9-5 job! They're awesome, I promise :)

Sarah said...

I can totally relate to your fears about Madeleine. It sucks, doesn't it?